Fly Fishing and Frustration, Rabbi Eric Eisenkramer

Fly fishing is filled with times of frustration: Getting rained out on the stream, losing a fly in a low hanging branch, being unable to thread your tippet through the hole of a tiny hook because your hands are too cold. One time I drove an hour from home to fish a river in New York. When I opened the trunk to put on my gear, I discovered I had left my fly fishing rod at home! I had my vest and my net, but no rod. I sat by the car and called myself an idiot repeatedly.

Perhaps the ultimate frustration of fly fishing is not catching any fish. Sometimes no matter how advanced your casting skills, or how perfectly tied your flies, the fish simply will not rise. Trout are picky. And the task we set before ourselves is difficult: Attract fish to bite a hook wrapped in thread and wool.

When I am on the river, and nothing is happening, no matter what fly I use or where I cast, I become frustrated. I try to rationalize the situation. I say to myself: “I’ll just use this time to practice my casting.” That usually does not work for long. The sport is called fly fishing, not “fly casting”. On the other hand, it is not called “fly catching” either.

Over the years, I realized that frustration from not catching fish usually has to do with expectations. When I first taught myself to fly fish, I was lucky to see one or two bites in an entire afternoon. I was thrilled the first time I caught a trout on a dry fly, a small rainbow roughly eight inches. I was not frustrated by the other three hours of fishing, because I was learning.

After that first fish, I began to develop expectations. As my skills developed and I could catch many more fish in an afternoon, my expectations only continued to rise. Today, a few hours on the stream that do not yield a single bite might cause serious frustration.

Fly fishing is not the only time when we deal with expectations. Often in life, expectations can be a good thing. When a baseball coach demands one hundred and ten percent, it pushes the baseball player to new levels of athletic achievement. When a teacher gives a difficult assignment but the student finds a way to write a paper on Macbeth, they learn and grow. When a parent expects a child to do chores, work hard and treat others with respect, he or she becomes a better person

In religion, expectations are important as well. The Bible contains the 10 commandments, a list of expected behaviors such as do not steal and honor your father and mother. In its essence, Judaism expects people to be ethical and good. When Rabbi Hillel was asked what is the most important command of Judaism he said: “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the commentary. Now go and learn.” Likewise, God expects ethical behavior from us all. The prophet Micah said: “God has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you: Only to do justice and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God.”

Expectations from teachers, coaches and even religion can be a good thing when they motivate us to do or be better. But expectations on the fly fishing stream are probably a waste of time. Not too long ago, someone asked me for the most important tip in fly fishing. I said to him: “Be sure to look up from the river every once in a while, take a breath of air, hear the soft sound of the flowing water and appreciate the beauty of all that surrounds you.” In fly fishing, when I expect to catch trout, I am guaranteed to be frustrated. When I expect to be out in nature, to soak in the solitude of the stream and to leave behind the stress of the world, I find fulfillment. An afternoon of fly fishing always provides me with solace and a sense of peace.

I may still get frustrated when not a single fish rises. When that happens, I will try to remember the time I went fly fishing and left my rod behind. After I discovered that I could not fish, I decided to go hiking along the stream. I saw deer and ducks. I got stuck in “sinking mud,” almost becoming a permanent resident of the stream. I spent time outside, in nature, and I was able to look around, relax and appreciate the beauty of our world. And I learned that sometimes I can get what I want from a fly fishing trip without a rod and reel.

Rabbi Eric Eisenkramer is the author of The Fly Fishing Rabbi, and the associate Rabbi at North Shore Synagogue in Syosset, New York.